omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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