2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he thought i was a dude.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize