Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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