dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize