Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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