He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
