Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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