Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
third nipple confirmed
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
