Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
