This is not my ceiling
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
