You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
