I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
