I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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