There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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