I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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