Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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