I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
