Pappa wants mamma naked
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
