you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize