u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
