just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
