hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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