if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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