Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
where are my eyebrows?
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