You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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