Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
