is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
