Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
