btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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