Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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