New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
