you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
