I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
