Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
