how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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