You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
