Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
