so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
