We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
