At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
even my farts smell like vagina
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I had to cum in my sink.
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