Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
