i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
