My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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