dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
