Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
