We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
