Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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