she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
