I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
