I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
